I’ll Miss You Too Much
“Jesus, Gavin, are you fucking mentally retarded, you fucking idiot? What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Michael screamed to the man sitting next to him, who tried holding back his laughter.
“I’m sorry, Mi-”
“You fucking moron! You cost us the game, we were so fucking close!”
“Aaand, Geoff wins the Tower of Pimps!” Geoffrey purred into his mic. Jack and Ryan chuckled, still glancing over their shoulders and at the two arguing behind them.
“Michael, I didn’t know, I’m so-”
“Of course you didn’t, you fucking dumbass, you don’t know a goddamn thing you fucking idiot.”
“But what about team Nice Dynamite?”
“Not that bullshit again, just shut the fuck up.”
“Mavin, nooo,” Ray called out sadly, and Michael shot him an angered glare.
“No. Mavin is dead. Gavin fucking killed it.” He stood up, slamming his controller on the desk, and stormed out. Gavin watched him go, looking devastated. Was Michael really that angry at him? The Brit had been trying to be good to him, but lately, their friendship has been going too crazy, and Michael has been acting more hostile than usual. Maybe their friendship was lost… maybe Michael truly hated him.
Geoff quirked an eyebrow, cutting his audio off. He set down his controller, leaning back in his chair. “Y’all right, buddy?”
Gavin stared down at the floor, remaining silent. He stood up and left the Achievement Hunter office, shutting the door quietly behind him. Jack blinked, sharing a look with Ryan. Geoff sighed.
“Michael?” Gavin murmured quietly as he approached his friend, peering at the ginger who stood alone in the hallway with his back to him. Michael turned to shoot him a cold glare.
“What the fuck do you want?” he snapped, still seeming to be spiteful.
“You can’t really be that angry at me, can you?” Gav asked nervously, feeling his chest squeeze with the fear of losing his friend. Michael narrowed his eyes, face still pink from screaming.
“Maybe I am, Gavin. Maybe I’m sick of you being such a dumbass and having to sit next to you every fucking day and listen to you babble on and on about all your stupid shit. Ever thought of that, Gavin?”
The Brit grew dead silent, looking hurt as he stared at the American. He tried not to let words affect him, like they used to when he was younger, but things were different with Michael. It hurt more hearing things like that from a guy like him. Gavin took a step back, feeling the tears threaten to break free as he reached up to grab at his Creeper pendant that Michael had gifted him not long ago.
“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ll be sure to stay out of your hair from now on,” he choked out, stumbling backwards a few more feet before turning around to run upstairs and as far away as he could from the ginger.
He soon found himself alone in the back room, which hardly anyone used nowadays. He stood there, staring at the empty couch and unused furniture while he simply thought to himself.
Michael really does hate him. He really can’t stand even sitting next to him.
Gavin squeezed the pendant he didn’t realize he was still holding, and lowered onto his knees, trying to compose himself before heading back upstairs. He inhaled a deep breath, and after a few moments, stood up, dusted off his shorts, and trotted back down the hallway and up the stairs to the Achievement Hunter office. When he entered, Michael’s seat was empty and everyone was quietly at work. Ray glanced up from his desk to give his friend a sympathetic look before continuing with his editing. Gavin couldn’t bring himself to say anything, so he sat down at his chair and stared at his computer screen, unsure of what to do.
After a minute, he slipped on his headphones and decided to edit the audio and video clips from a Let’s Play they did a day or two ago, and started putting it together. But listening to Michael yell and snap and scream at him just made the knot in his stomach tighten, and he ended up jerking off his headphones and staring down at his keyboard, his emotions seeming to overwhelm him while he bit his lower lip.
“Gav?” Geoff’s concerned voice spoke up from behind him. Gavin ignored his boss, continuing to gaze at his keyboard. Geoff was suddenly standing next to him, a hand on his shoulder. “You have to get to work, buddy, or else we won’t get the video released in time.”
“I want to go home,” Gavin said suddenly, remaining still. Ray, Ryan and Jack glanced up from their computers, peering at the Brit. Geoff frowned.
“I, uh. I’ll let you head home once you’ve finished this edit, but I think Millie is gonna have her friends over, if it was peace and quiet you were lookin’ for?”
“No,” he muttered. Geoff quirked an eyebrow. Gavin finally looked up, lips tightly pressed together, eyes brimming with betrayal and sorrow. “I want to go home, to England.”
Ray raised his head, eyes slightly wide. Ryan and Jack shared another glance. Geoff shifted uneasily. “Well, uh, you’ll have to talk to Burnie. I’m not sure how much time he’ll give you off, though.”
“No,” he said again, more fiercely this time. “I’m done here. I know when I’m not wanted. I’m going back home to England for good. Then everyone’ll be a lot happier.”
The room went dead silent. Michael suddenly opened the door and stepped inside, hesitating in front of Gavin, looking as if he wanted to say something. Gavin ignored him and stood up, pushing past the ginger and out of the office, shutting the door behind him. He felt the tears finally break free while he walked, and he didn’t wipe them away. Roosterteeth members passed by, looking surprised and confused when they noticed him crying. Joel had been talking to Gus and Kara in the main office, which Gavin walked into and headed straight for the door. Joel was the first to notice the wet stains on Gav’s cheeks as he passed by, and he quickly reached out, grabbing the Brit’s arm and stopping him.
“Hey, G-man. What happened? I thought you never cried? Is Barbara slicin’ onions in the kitchen or somethin’?” he joked, obviously seeing that something was wrong and trying to cheer his pal up a bit. Gus and Kara grew quiet as Gav inhaled a trembling breath before shaking his head and tugging out of Joel’s grasp. He continued to the door, and left the Roosterteeth building.
I can’t believe I was stupid enough to believe Michael was actually my friend. I can’t believe I let him pull me around like that, like a tool! I’m such an idiot. Gavin squeezed his eyes closed, sniffing hard while rubbing at the pesky tears. Joel was right, though. He hardly cried for anything anymore, ever since he taught himself how to keep his emotions bottled up. But hearing Michael say those horrible things… even though he says them practically every day… It just finally hit him. Maybe Michael really hates him. And Gavin wouldn’t be able to sit next to the American knowing their relationship would go no further.
Gavin’s foot suddenly caught in an uneven piece of asphalt in the parking lot and he fell forward, tripping, and falling flat on his stomach. He lay there for a moment, stunned and shocked before pushing himself into a sitting position. He wiped at his eyes again, feeling his chest heave with every breath as he tried to stop crying.
No such luck.
The Brit finally accepted that he wasn’t going to cease crying and simply let it all out. He curled forward, elbows on his thighs while covering his face with his hands. He sobbed. He didn’t care if anyone saw him. He just gave up. Gavin couldn’t handle it anymore. It was just too much.
“Gav! Gavin,” an achingly familiar voice shouted from behind him. “Gav, you idiot.”
Gavin didn’t bother looking up. Why was Michael even out here? Was he going to make fun of him even more? Was he going to call him more names? Gavin curled forward again, shielding himself from Michael with his back to him. He heard the ginger let out a soft sigh.
“Listen,” he said gently. “I’m… You’re not an idiot. If anything, I’m the idiot.”
Gavin remained in his safety ball.
“Gavin, look at me!” Michael groaned, and the Brit felt a body plop down behind him, and two warm hands grab at his shoulders. “Gav, please. I’m sorry, alright? I was a stupid fucking prick for thinking you wouldn’t get hurt by my asshole tantrums.” He pulled gently at Gavin’s shoulder. “Please look at me.”
Gavin was still for a moment. Slowly, he sat up and turned to look, still hurt, at Michael. The ginger visibly deflated, staring sadly at the Brit. Gav’s face was red from crying (which he was still doing, only silently) and he looked simply awful and heartbroken. Michael shook his head in disbelief.
“I’m the biggest douche bag in the world,” he muttered, voice shaking. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Gavin and hugging him tightly. Michael buried his face in the crook of Gavin’s neck. The Brit could feel Michael trembling, and he blinked, wide-eyed, in surprise. He was hugging him? I thought he hated me?
“Michael,” Gavin whispered, voice hoarse. He could feel his neck growing wet, and as the American released and sat back, he realized Michael was crying. “Michael?” he repeated.
He shook his head, looking absolutely regretful. “Gav, please don’t go back to England,” he said softly. “We’ll,” he hesitated before correcting himself, “I’ll miss you too much.” Michael gazed at him with those pleading eyes, and suddenly Gavin understood. He stared straight into those adorable brown little specks before pushing himself forward and smashing their lips together. Michael had seemed to be expecting it, because he immediately reached up, cupping Gavin’s cheek and kissing him dizzy. “Don’t leave,” Michael said in between kisses. “I’m sorry I was such a dick.”
Gavin pulled away, gazing into Michael’s eyes until the ginger leaned forward for another quick kiss. The Brit rubbed at his eyes, feeling tired as he heaved a sigh. “I thought you hated me, you asshole?” he mumbled.
Michael snorted. “Don’t be dumb. I just have the worst temper ever, and you just happen to be the person I take my anger out on.”
Gavin paused before suddenly giving the American a sly smile. “You know, Michael, anger can be taken care of in many different ways?”
Michael’s face burned hot red while he stared in surprise at the Brit. He grinned, letting out a laugh. “Gav, are you fucking serious?”
The mischievous light was brought back into Gavin’s eyes as he smirked. “Yeah, I’ll fuck you seriously.” Michael snorted once again before pushing himself onto his feet, reaching down and helping his friend up. He grasped Gav’s hand and started off for the Roosterteeth building, until Michael paused, eyes wide in realization.
“Wait, we just made out.”
“Yes?” Gavin blinked at him, looking unfazed.
“So… Are we like…?” Michael trailed off, unsure of what to say or how to say it. Gavin simply smiled, not needing his little Michael to continue. He glanced down at their joined hands, smile radiant.
“Yeah, why not?”